Losing my dad feels as though all that was once good in the world has vanished. A glass that was once more than half full of love and hope and happiness has dried up. Never again will it be as full as it was. But its strong 24-year-old base built by a loving father will be filled drop by drop with renewed love and hope and happiness.
We might all want to consider starting from scratch. I now notice how insignificantly we spend the time we have. My dad once told me, “You have too much good energy, kid, to waste it on things you shouldn’t.” He’s right. If we transferred half of the energy we expend on meaningless things to ones that actually matter to us (family, laughter, smiles, cooking, fishing, friends, health, research, education), the world we’ve created would actually be one to be proud of.
I am the proudest daughter of the proudest dad imaginable. There is not one thing I do or think that isn’t a result of how he made me. And now I can’t imagine doing anything without him. I thought I always knew how much my dad was a part of me. Turns out I had no idea. I’ve found myself left with a hole in a heart that was once bursting with joy. I’ll never be the same person I was, but I will be a person he will be proud of. I’ll never have the same kind of happy, but I am determined to recreate happy.
I tell myself that my dad would want me to be happy, but being truly happy without him is impossible. I won’t ever be the same okay again without my dad to tell me that I will be okay. So I’ll find a different version of happy. And a different version of okay. Not yet. But some time.
You will always mean the world to me, Dad. I love you.
-Kid
I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost my father (while I was in college) and it was sudden. He wasn’t just my father but my buddy, my friend. There have been many times that I think of a funny memory and smile, or a song we loved comes on the radio and makes me cry. Somethings get easier, somethings get harder but he continues to stay with me.
Thinking of you and hoping that your memories give you smiles in the days to come.
Hi Kacee. I know these are the hardest days of your life, and not much makes sense. Even though I don’t know you (we have a mutual friend), I am happy to see that you have such clear vision. Hold on to that. It will carry you through. I’d like to share this song (You Tube video) with you, that I often listen to when I miss my mom. It’s good for those days when you really *need* to cry but can’t seem to find the tears. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYXB3ijmoyg&feature=related Peace be with you.
I’ve never lost a parent, so I can’t pretend to know how hard it is. But I do know how hard it is to lose somebody you love. Just know that you are not alone. You have a whole world of amazing people out here who love you and who you can fall back on for support. I am here if you need anything.
Dear Casie,
You’re very wise to realize that you will not be the same person and not be happy in the same way after your father’s passing. My mother “got me” and understood me more than any other person on this earth, so when she passed, it left an emptiness that I find I have to learn to live around.
I believe very strongly in an afterlife, and that we will meet up with our loved ones again in a place where they will never again be taken away from us.
Also, I want to say that I often feel the presence of both my deceased mother and father, and for me, it is very real, and comforting. I hope this happens for you.
Love, Janet
Casie-
I am so sorry. I can’t even imagine what you are going through. Losing my dad… I don’t even want to think about it. I may not know you, but I want you to know that I am thinking about you and your family and praying for you!
Losing someone we love is one of the hardest things people have to go through in life. It happens everyday all around the world, but it always hits hard. I’ve seen friends go through loss of parents, and I wish I could be there for you like I tried to be there for them! I wish I could give you a hug and sit there with you and pray. But since I can’t, here is your internet hug!
One of my friends who lost two close friends suddenly told me that it’s all about the little steps. Or even as small as each breath that gets you through. So keep breathing, focus on just taking the next breath. You can get through.
Again, I am praying for you and I love you! (Even though I don’t know you!) If you ever need anything, or want someone to talk to feel free to email me (lovewokemeupthismorning@gmail.com) and I’m on twitter (@ehornburg).
All my love,
Emily
Hi Sweetie,
I too spend huge amounts of time fishing with my dad I cannot imagine the loss you feel. I can say look at the positives and honor his life by doing the things you used to do with him and enjoying them and the memories. Know that there is a world of people to love you and to be loved by you just open yourself to them. I wish there were magic words to ease your pain but alas there is no such thing. I send you love and strength
Ang
Kacee,
I wish for you comfort and strength in your time of sorrow. I also hope that life brings you good things as you journey forward with your sweet father. May his love and the memories you have of him fill your heart and life.
You are loved!
I too know what it’s like to lose a parent and feel for you in this time of loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Hugs,
Jeffrey
Hello beautiful creature,
I can’t identify from a place of having been there so I won’t pretend to know what this is like. However, just from reading this post of yours, I know that you are strong and you WILL be happy again, just perhaps in a different way.
I’ll be sending out healing and loving vibes to you from Mississippi. My heart is with you.
KB
Kacee, Please let it be know that you are in our prayers. Losing someone close is especially hard. Some one out there is making your day happy and you can focus on the good in your life. Keep calm and carry on! Peace be with you.
Wow, you have the best attitude I think I’ve EVER come across. I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose a family member, let alone a father-a dad. You were blessed to have such a great relationship! And the fact that you recognized it, appreciated it while he was still here is just beautiful.
I like to believe we’re spiritual beings living a physical experience. We choose the people in our lives, even our parents. It is this belief I have-that I know you will be together again.
You’re way ahead of the curve here in understanding that you will find a “new version of happy.” There is more truth in these words than there are in the evening news. There is no single definition of happy for anyone’s entire life. You shine, even in this difficult time. And I hope that you get all the hugs and love you need and more, because no one is more deserving than you-right now.
Sending healing energy your way!
Rach
Someone with such a big capacity to love as you obviously do will always find a way to be happy. You are lucky to have had such a wonderful man to be your dad, to love you, to help you become who you are. His gift will keep giving throughout your life, your children’s life, and for generations to come. I’m so sorry for your pain right now. I hope you will find comfort.
Hey Casie :)
I am so sorry for your loss. I know I don’t know you but wanted to send some encouraging words your way, I think we have a mutual friend somewhere along the line. I send you huge hugs, I know that my Dad is a huge part of my life just like yours was a huge part of yours.
HUGS
I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine what it must feel like losing a father. But don’t ever forget, he is watching over you and still incredibly proud of you. You are a strong, amazing young woman. And you are loved. I am praying for you and your family.
I am so sorry that you have lost your hero. But you carry his name within you, he created you, instilled in you amazing values, made you who you are today! Live up to his name, carry his name proudly! Because I know you can do this, I know that Heavenly Father loves you, and I know that your Daddy loves you. Forever and Always.
Stay strong! You are in my thoughts and prayers <3
Chin up, you have all our love and support, you’ll get through this! Much love <3
Casie,
I am so sorry for your loss. I love your Dad’s quote “You have too much good energy, kid, to waste it on things you shouldn’t.”. Take your time getting through this. You WILL recreate happy and your dad WILL forever be proud of you!
Alicia
Hey beautiful girl,
I wish there were things I could say that would comfort you entirely and put a smile on your face. Please know that I am thinking and praying for you, and wishing you love, strength, hope and comfort. Know that you are resilient and cling to that. You had an incredible father, you are so, so blessed. I hope that as your wrestle through this, you learn things about your own strength and continue to grow in love and in faith.
So many hugs.
- lauren xoxo
Only a hug will do. So this the biggest verbal hug I can give you. Your fathers love is still with you. Let it be. There is an endless supply of love – you always have the choice to be in his presence. I guarantee you, he is with you always.
Love.
No words can make you feel better, I’m so sorry for your loss. I just want you to know I said a prayer for you when I read your post.
(hugs)
I’m so unbelievably sorry for you loss. I can’t even imagine what you are going through! You are in my thoughts and prayers!!
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your outlook on life is so beautiful and wonderful, I wish you nothing but the best. Stay strong and lovely,
Casie
You are surrounded by love and support.
Keep recreating your happiness with all of that positive energy you have. Remember your dad and honor his life by moving forward with yours.
He can still be very proud of you. And I’m sure he is.
You are watched over and protected.
Be happy.
You are loved.
Casie,
Sending hugs and love your way…and may the memories of your father live in you always…
I sense very much the beauty of your soul in these words, and what a gift that is that YOU give this world.
Much peace,
Lance
I won’t pretend I know what you are going through because I don’t. But today you will see that cup filled with lots of love & encouragement. I just know it! Drop by small drop you cup will overflow. Someday when you feel as though your life is settling into that ‘new kind of’ normal you will know that your Dad wants that for you. To be happy in spite of.
Thinking of you today. So very sorry for your loss.
Casie – I’m so sorry for your loss. My dad has been and will always be my rock and greatest champion as well, and I feel your loss as profoundly as if it were mine. Remember that the spirit and energy and joy that he infused in to you when he was still here will remain with you for the rest of your days, and cherish all the wonderful memories of your time with him. He will live on in you!
I’ll never be the same person I was, but I will be a person he will be proud of.
–
I love this.
From what I’ve read of your blog (snippets here and there), I think you’re already someone he is proud of… :)
I know that I’m forever changed by the death of several people I loved very much. Since my best friend died a few years ago, “touch lives” has become a bigger part of my life. That’s what she was all about, and I try to remind myself constantly that this is something I need to be about, too.
Love and hugs and prayers coming your way!
I understand how you feel when you say, “I’ll never be the same kind of OK again without my dad”.
Grief and loss leave an empty spot nothing can fill. You will hopefully find a peace to put there that will recenter your life.
Blessings to you
MusingMom6
Casie,
I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your dad. That father-daughter bond is unique. I am happy to hear in your blog your ability to see what your dad has brought to your life and the important message he imparted to you. I hope you’ll live by his words.! Sending you love, prayers, and sympathy.
Lu
The father/daughter relationship is so special. I am so sorry for your loss. I know it is hard now but just remember your father is always with you. Feel his strength and love. Honor him everyday with your life. Use all he taught you to be his living legacy.
You are an incredibly amazing and strong woman. I am awed by your truly loving attitude in the face of tragedy, and I know you speak the truth. Your dad is very, very proud of you.
<3
Sam
It sounds like your dad a was a wise man. I don’t know you, but I admire your strength, and I get the sense your dad would be really proud of what you do here. I hope that you’re surrounded by family and friends as you commemorate your Dad’s life and reflect on all the ways he made a positive difference. Sending you lots of love from Cali!
~Lori
I don’t know you, but my heart goes out to you. I had a scary close call with my dad a few months ago, and it really opened my eyes to how suddenly we can lose a loved one. I’m so sorry that your father is gone, and I hope that each day that passes gets a little easier for you.
I am so sorry for your loss.
“You have too much good energy, kid, to waste it on things you shouldn’t.” – your father sounds like he was a wise man.
I am so sorry for your loss. I would love to say I know how you feel and offer wise words, but I don’t know how it feels. I can only imagine. Please know that there are people here for you. We truly care about you. Hopefully every day feels a little better.
Sending you hugs and positive energy…. knowing that nothing will ever replace that love and connection with your Dad… but also nothing will ever destroy it. … it’s always there loving and supporting you- even in the form of strangers reaching out, and funny little unexplainable things you hear or see or happen that will let you know he’s anround. Random moments to let you know he’s still with you , always and forever…. Watching, guiding and loving you always.
Kacee,
I send you all the blessings of love during this time. His influence is always around, ever present, with love. I share that love back through you, and send you warmest regards in healing and learning to see and love back during this time.
L
I pray for your strength in this season of loss and hope you find the happiness you richly deserve.
Hello Kacee.
I can’t say i know how you’re feeling, but your blog post reminded me something i once read about sadness, by brazilian writer Rubem Braga.
“There are two kinds of sadness. The sad sadness, when you’re sad about things that could’ve been, but didn’t; and the happy sadness; when you’re feeling sad about something that could’ve been, and did.”
I figure your dad must’ve been a wonderful person, and I hope that your memories will serve as an inspiration and strenght to believe good things can and will happen eventually.
Will be sending my best wishes, from Brazil.
I am a dad with daughters just younger than you. The wonderful way you write about your father leads me to believe you were among the most lucky. To have had someone in your life who made such a difference is rare. You will always be his “kid”. I only hope my daughters can speak of me in near the terms you use. Take time to grieve. Let no one tell you when the grief should end. It hurts, and it should. You have lost a great man.
Casie,
I am so sorry for your loss… I can’t imagine what the pain must be like. Please know that your father wanted you to continue to live your life in the same passionate, emotional, loving way that you do.
Big Hugs,
Megan
Hi Casie,
Here from Lovebomb because your story resonates with me more than you can imagine. I lost my father when I was 23 going on 24. And it completely upended my entire world. My thoughts were exactly the same as your thoughts are now. There would never be love or happiness without him. And the pain lasted. It would be nice to say that in a year’s time it faded, but it didn’t, and it was 9 years ago and still hurts some days. But slowly, over time, not only did I indeed find a new version of happy, of completeness, of love, but I found the old happiness that my dad helped establish. So to you now I say that this journey through grief is a long one, and you will ALWAYS miss and ache for your father, but it is not the end of things, it is only the beginning. You will love again, you will smile again, you will be you in all the wonderful ways he taught you to be. Lean on those around you and don’t be closed off to finding comfort in places where you’d least expect it. Though we are strangers, if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, or someone who knows this pain, please feel free to contact me. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers, and I will be praying you find some peace and some sort of normalcy, not now, but soon.
Sincerely your friend in this journey through grief,
Alexia
You’ve nailed it. You will be ok, just a different kind of ok. There will be people in your life, throughout the rest of your life that will bring all different kinds of happiness and joy to you. Know that your dad will always be with you in your heart, memories and spirit.
I am so, so sorry for your loss. I read your post “Dad, you made the world better” and it was such a beautiful tribute to someone who I can tell was a wonderful man and father. Lots of love x x x
I lost my father unexpectedly almost 3 years ago and when you said this:
“But its strong 24-year-old base built by a loving father will be filled drop by drop with renewed love and hope and happiness.”
It definitely resonated with me. While there is nothing that can fill the void that a father encompassed and embraced, little by little and day by day that “renewed love and hope and happiness” will add up and turn out to create something amazing. You carry your father’s love and light with you always. While there is nothing that can replace his physical presence, it doesn’t stop you from emanating that love he gave and showed for you.
I’m sorry to hear for your loss, but know that time does heal and you will find your happiness.
So sorry for your loss. Sounds like you were both very blessed with each other. Those blessings cannot be taken away.
My heart breaks for you. I actually didn’t meet my Dad until I was 19; so for me, it was my Grandpa. The sun rose and set with him. He loved me unconditionally when no one else did. He was the only person on the planet that truly rejoiced in my successes and truly grieved when life took me down a hard road. Even though I was not his daughter he NEVER treated me like anything less.
I held his hand when heart failure took him from me. He said “I love you babe, but I have to go”. It goes down as the hardest day in my entire life.
I knew from that day on that I would never be joyful ever again. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would never do anything great ever again, because “who really cares” – I no longer had anyone to rejoice with. His kind blue eyes would never give their silent approval and his gentle voice would never praise me for a job well done – so, why try?
Six years later I can tell you that I have found joy again. True joy. Not the same joy I had when he was alive, but a different kind of joy. One that says “I can feel good about this because somehow he knows – and somewhere he is proud of me”.
I still miss him every. single. day. There is not a day that goes buy that I don’t wish to my core that he was still here. However, the pain has dulled. My smile has returned. And, I am okay.
If I can give you any advice (not that you are asking for any – but, here goes) it would be to grieve. Grieve fully and as long as you need to. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you should let it go. Never let it go. Grieve in any way you feel necessary. For me it was countless trips to the cemetery. Hours asking God “WHY”, and more tears than I can count. No two people grieve the same way and it is okay.
My heart goes out to you. I hope that in the midst of your darkness right now life shows you some little smiles and that one day you are able to find your joy again. Hang in there.
*hugs* ‘ nuff said.
Dear Casie,
It’s sad to lose your beloved dad. It sometimes feels like it hurts so much you just can feel your heart breaking and that’s ok. Time will heal and the great thing is that you will never forget your dad. Casie, it will help you to become a great parent one day. Watch and see.
Big hugs to you
I’m absolutely sure that your dad will be proud of you, because you sound like a person that has incredible determination and strength, even though it’s really really tough right now. I hope you keep in mind these people who are rooting for you and praying for you. It will get better with time, but of course you’ll always miss your dad. All you can do is do him proud in your actions, and I have a lot of faith that you will. So many mental hugs for you.
I can’t begin to say how sorry I am that you’re going through this terrible pain right now. Just from reading your post, though, I can tell that you have a beautiful soul and that your inherent desire to look on the bright side of things will help you through this time. No, there is not a bright side to losing your father, ever … but my guess is that he would expect nothing less than for you to use your amazing energy to focus on all the good that life has yet to bring you — and to have your cup spill over with love and joy and peace. He doesn’t want you to look on your life as empty because of him … in fact, I think that because you have such beautiful memories of your father to hold onto, you’re actually luckier than a lot of girls ever get to be with their fathers (mine included.) Let your father be a part of your life in a different way and you’ll see that he really hasn’t left you at all. I’m sending you all the positive vibes I can muster.
Please accept my condolences on the loss of your father.
On your “About Me” page I found these words:
“I’m a lifelong learner. I want to find ways to make the world better. And I believe that happiness is something each of us can and should create for ourselves and others.”
I love that. You have a gift. A gift that is more than many people have in this day and age. I believe happiness comes with hope. You may feel as though you’ve lost both. But in my experience, you never lose hope.
So hang in there…happiness always hangs around hope.
Sending you love and hugs. I lost my Daddy to cancer over a year ago, still is hard. Take care of yourself and keep those memories in that cup you imagine – it can be full with those.
I love how you have chosen to tackle this: a new kind of happy. That is exactly what life will bring you. It’s easy to see that, despite the heartache that you should never have had to face, you WILL be OK. Hugs to you.
I can only imagine what you are experiencing right now, but the gifts that you are able to see in such suffering is beautiful. Remember these moments of insight, because the future may also bring moments when these insights seem to have vanished. Trust though, that these moments of insight are a part of your truth and are ever present – even buried behind sadness and grief and fear. For those moments of grief and sadness and fear, I send you light and love and courage. You are divine!
My heart is hurting for you. Almost lost my dad 2 years ago, and I know it will be a reality for me too eventually. Your words are comforting to all who have lost someone. I pray that you feel your dad’s spirit with you daily.
Courage ma belle…it’s such a great loss…but your daddy will always be with you, close to you, everyday, since you will bring him with you, in your heart…that’s how the people we love will still live, with us.
Now you have an Angel that is taking good care of you, for the rest of your life.
I send you all my love.
Casie,
I’m sorry that you are going through such a difficult time, and at the same time I’m impressed with the strength your words have. I’m sending all my love to you and your family.
Lots of hugs.
It’s okay to not be happy sometimes, and it’s okay to be sad and to mourn. I hope that you find healing through the sad that will lead you to a bright future full of fond memories and a desire to continue being the woman who’d make your father proud!
Love and hugs, dear.
So sorry for your loss. Sending many prayers and love.
Your words are amazing and have truly touched me.
“I tell myself that my dad would want me to be happy, but being truly happy without him is impossible. I won’t ever be the same okay again without my dad to tell me that I will be okay. So I’ll find a different version of happy. And a different version of okay. Not yet. But some time.”
I lost my father when I was 4 and you couldn’t have said it better, its a different version of happy and a different version of okay. Things will never be the same. It’s still really hard 22 years later but continue on your positive path and make choices he would be proud of. Remember that he is still with you in everything you do.
Much love and many hugs.
Oh, Cassie, I am so so sorry. You’re in my prayers.
Stay strong and always know that you are in the thoughts and prayers of those who wish to create happiness for you too :)
You are in my thoughts Casie. Can’t begin to imagine what you are going through. So sorry to hear about the loss of your dad. Sending out loving kindness to you.
Angela
Casie,
I’m real sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your family.
your strength really is inspiring. I’ll be praying for you, that you do find happiness once again, even if it is different from before.
Cassie,
I was directed here by the Love Bomb team, and I wanted to drop you a quick note- I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I cannot fathom losing my own father, and I have no advice appropriate for me to give. Just know I am thinking of you, and your family, and sending you strength and love,
Courtny
Your dad’s love is still in this world because you are still here as evidence of it.
I am so sorry for your loss. Your dad sounds like an incredible person, and he raised an incredible daughter. His goodness will live on through you. I know that you will see him again and that all of your losses will be made up. God bless; I am praying for you.
Hey hon, I know what it’s like to not have a dad around, though my father was removed from our home by divorce. You are indeed blessed to have had 24 years with your dad, and I pray that you forget not ONE of those days – even the bad ones. You are blessed to have a mentor who saw you into your adult years. Remember his lessons when you bring your own children into the world, and I pray as well you will MARRY A MAN JUST LIKE YOUR DAD. That’s why he was in your life as long as he was…to give you a fine example of a husband, father, and mentor.
Be blessed, enjoy your new life, and remember him always!
G-Man
I am so sorry for your loss! It is never easy to lose someone that means so much to you and it being a parent makes it even harder…and I find myself wanting to encourage you in your time of grief YET I find myself encouraged by your optimism instead! That truly is a gift in itself and I know your Dad is super proud of you for spreading an important message through your own pain and loss.
Just know that I am thinking of you and sending up a million good thoughts and prayers! Continue to live a life that makes him proud because he will be with you always even if he can’t physically talk to you, he will find ways!
I’m very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Wishing you all the best and sending lots of love and hugs,
Suzanne
Casie,
I’m praying for you today as you walk this lonely and painful road of grieving. Your dad sounds like an amazing man. Words never do good humans justice. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope this community and love makes your journey just a bit left lonely.
You are loved infinitely and unbreakably. I keep thinking of Jesus’ promise: “I will not leave you orphans, I will come rescue you.”
Live in painful rescue.
Thinking of you today, I am sorry for your loss. I am glad to hear you had such a great relationship with him, and that you are proud that so much of who you are is a result of his influence. Must have been an amazing person. Thank you for talking about him a little bit here, and pouring out your heart. Praying that you find peace and joy.
“The day my father died I stayed up until 6AM, writing his eulogy. I needed to put down on paper how much he had meant to me. I wanted the mourners to know just how much we would all be missing.
I read the eulogy in front of more than a hundred people. As soon as I finished, Cromwell, a friend of my father’s got up on a chair and shouted: “Marcos, I am proud to have been called your friend!”
I had kept my ground until then. Holding back the tears, but hearing Cromwell shout made me break down in sobs.
I was 17. I never thanked Cromwell. I haven’t seen him in years.”
That is from a blog post I once wrote. I understand what you’re going through. I miss my father every single day. But whenever my eyes fill up with tears as I see a man passing hand in hand with his daughter, I utter a silent prayer. And I find comfort. I hope the God of all mercies comforts you.
I am sorry for your pain and loneliness… I’m glad you know how proud your dad was of you and that you know he left his legacy with you in who you are today. I hope that you can focus on those good memories as you mourn his loss.
Casie,
I am so very sorry that you had to say goodbye to your dad way too soon. I hope and pray that you will be comforted with the memories of the wonderful years you had with him.
Hugs,
Joanne
Casie,
I lost my mom 2 years ago when I was 17, so I can imagine ho much hurt and pain you are feeling right now. But let me tell you, you have an INCREDIBLY positive and grounded attitude after such an immense loss. Your words of hope and determination for recreating the happiness you lost, doing meaningful things in your life, and making your dad proud are awe – inspiring. I hope you never lose that outlook because that is what’s going to get you through these hard times and really enrich your life for years to come. Your dad must be smiling down at you, extremely proud of his daughter. I wish you and your family nothing but peace and I know you’ll make it through.
Love and hugs,
Jess
“You are not alone in this. As brothers we will stand and we’ll hold your hand.” – Timshel by Mumford & Sons
Your strength and courage give me hope. Namaste.
I’m sorry for your loss. I know your dad is a big part of you – and that won’t stop. He’ll continue to be a big part of you. And you will make the memory of him proud, going on and living the wonderful life you lead. You will make it through and you are beautiful.
This blog post is truly beautiful. I cannot express how much respect I gained for you by just reading this. You WILL find a different version of happiness. And soon enough, I’m sure of it. You seem so strong. Please, keep it up. You’re great. (:
Casie: So sorry for your loss. Continue to be strong and know that you will make it through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Take a moment to dance in the sunshine outside. Remember the song “Lean on Me.” Realize just how many people love you. Recreate happy because I know you can.
Dear Kid,
It gets better. A different better. But better and easier.
Much Love,
S.
<3
Hi Casie. The world loves you. Your friends love you. Your family loves you. Perfect internet strangers (myself included) LOVE you. We love you because we know what it is to experience loss. We are lifting you up in our thoughts and prayers, expressing our love through support and kind words.
I love you girl, I’m praying for you.
Love,
Courtney
I am sincerely so sorry for your loss & my thoughts and prayers are with you & your family during this time.
Hi Casie,
I have no idea what I would do if I lost my parents! I’m so sorry for your loss! Lots of strength and prayers to you and your family!
Casie,
I don’t know you, and you don’t know me. And I don’t know how you feel, exactly. But I’m saying a prayer for you and your family and hope that you’ll be comforted in this tough time.
You’re strong and you can get through this!
Hang in there. The emptines and loss you must be experiencing is something I can’t comprehend, but I know that you will come out of this beautiful and strong, and that your father couldn’t find a reason to be more proud….love those around you and watch how God uses this for things you could never have imagined, however hard and pointless such a thing might seem now. Keep strong :)
Cassie, your courage and determination to become happy again after such a tragic loss is truly inspiring. Losing your father is a rough experience, and I just want you to know this: it gets easier. I lost my father seven years ago, and while it still hurts sometimes, it hurts less, and it hurts less often. Everything will be okay.
Love, Ashley
Casie,
I am so sorry that you are going through this. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for you. You sound like a very strong person. From what you have said about him in your blog, your father sounds like a great man.
I will pray for for you during this hard time.
Stay strong, and keep your heart full of love. :)
you are deeply loved…beyond what you will ever be able to comprehend!
i’m praying for you; that God’s love and grace will be SO evident to you right now. He’s holding you!
Casie-Sweetie, sending you and your family love and light to help you get through this difficult time. I think that even though your dad is no longer physically with you, his spirit will always be in your heart. Too, I think the love you share for each other will connect the two of you, a bond that can never be broken.
Smooches, hugs, and loves to you Sweetie!
xoxo, c
Kasie-
So sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and sending you love and light.
James
Thinking of you and sending you blessings.
Casie,
I can’t even imagine what you’re going through right now. I know that if my dad died in five years, I wouldn’t even be able to walk, let alone be as mature and as graceful as you seem to have been so far. It seems like you had the kind of relationship with your dad that I have with mine – my dad has always always always been my number one fan, my confidant, my teacher, and my greatest supporter, and I’m glad that you had the chance to experience that kind of love and closeness, even if it was taken from you far, far too soon. Though I didn’t ever know your father, if he’s anything like mine, he’s unimaginably proud of you right now. I’ll pray for you, sweetie, if that’s all right, and I hope that you can find some peace and comfort. I’ll end this here, though I want to blabber on some more, because I know that nothing I can say can make it even a little better, but just know there are a lot of people out there thinking about you and sending good thoughts your way.
Best,
Meagan
You are a loving and caring person. This is hard, but you will soon have something tremendously beautiful to give another person. Don’t stop loving and don’t forget anything that you have.
Kasie –
I am so sorry for your loss. Your dad sounds like he was a really wonderful person and it sounds like you take after him quite a bit. Sending you lots of love, thoughts, and prayers during this hard time. Stay strong!
<3sara
I can only imagine what you’re feeling right now. Losing relatives is always hard, but I understand that losing a parent must be so much more.
I’ll be thinking of you this week.
Tab
x
Dear Casie,
I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through right now. You have a wonderful outlook on your crappy situation…from that I can tell you are strong. You are a true inspiration. In fact, I am going to share your web site with friends of mine whose mother/grandmother just passed away on Tuesday. I hope that it will help them find comfort and strength. We do not know each other but you have brought light to me on this dreary day in Cleveland, OH and I thank you for that.
I’m sorry for your loss, Cassie. From reading your post I know you have a very positive attitude even in the middle of intense pain. That’s a wonderful thing, and your post has encouraged me to spend my time more wisely.
I’m praying for you!
“The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace.” (Num. 6:26)
I’m sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how hard it is for you. You sound like a person wise beyond her years, though and your outlook will help you continue to grow – as your dad would have wanted.
Though he’s not here with you in body, his love is something you will always carry around with you.
I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine my life without my dad. Know he is in a good place, remember the good times, and be happy. Remember his words of wisdom. Don’t waste your good energy. Hugs.
Hi Casie, first, I want to say I am so very sorry for your loss. My Dad died when I was 26 and it seemed so unfair to me. I was angry and sad and it took time to see it in a different light. Now when I look back on my life when my Dad was a part of it, I remember the good times and you will too. You were blessed to have such an amazing man for your Dad and that will carry with you for the rest of your life. Everything he taught you, all you shared together ~ he will ALWAYS be with in your heart.
Please know that so many people are keeping you in their thoughts and prayers. You will get through this, one step at a time and with the help of those who love you. Hugs.
I’m sorry for your loss. Remember the good things and keep happy.
Richard.
“I tell myself that my dad would want me to be happy, but being truly happy without him is impossible.”
Casie~
I do realize that losing your dad is a life-altering loss from which you will never be the same, but speaking as a parent with grown children whom I love dearly…who have grown up, moved out, moved on, and become young adults, I believe I can speak from experience when I say that I know for a FACT that your dad would want you to be happy. And I don’t mean that trivial little emotional giddy happy…I mean deep-down, joy filled, satisfied with yourself and your life happy. When I die, and that day will come, I don’t want my children to spend the rest of their lives mourning me; I don’t want them to be glad I’m gone though! I want them to celebrate what they had with me by living a godly life serving Him–finding His peace and joy in their lives by doing what God wants for them. I want their lives to reflect what I taught them–from generation to generation–so that their children grow to serve God too. If I thought they would be sad the whole time, it would distress me.
So miss the man he was. Miss the relationship you two had. Miss his presence, his laugh, his smile, his songs…but REJOICE that you had the lifelong pleasure and privilege of knowing the man, and live your life in a way that demonstrates who he was: a father who brought up his daughter to live a life of peace and joy.
I am so, so sorry for your loss. Stay strong and things will get easier with time, although it may not seem as though they can at the moment. You are in my thoughts.
And he leaves behind to you the strength and wisdom to know how to slowly move forward without him. What a great guy.
Wow. I could not imagine losing my dad right now, and I am half of your age. I completly realize what pain you are going through right now, and I’m not going to say I feel your pain, but there has been times where I don’t want to go on. Here’s my advice: Live life the way you think your dad would want you to. When you get down, think of all of the happy memories yo have of your father, and how you will always cherish them. I’m not sure if your Christian or if your dad was, but I am sure God has blessed his soul with the promise of Heaven, and you will one day join him there, together again. I hope you enjoyed my LoveBomb. Best Wishes
I am the same age as you Casie and I can’t imagine losing my dad right now. He means the world to me. You are a strong and incredible woman! I know you will miss your dad terribly and I can only imagine the pain you are feeling right now. I encourage you to write down all of your memories of your father in a beautiful journal so that you can look back on them and read them whenever you need to feel comforted by his spirit. And that way you will never lose a single precious memory – they will always be there for you.
Best wishes
I just want to tell you that I am sending you love and light. I am glad that you seem to have had good times with your father and the world is always going to be a bit different without him. You will go on and be stronger but never do you get over the death of a loved one.
Your Dad is so proud and is always looking down on you. Celebrate your life and live for happiness. Anything that doesn’t make you feel like you are on top of the world isnt worth wasting time on.
Carpe Diem
Casie,
While you do not know me – I am here for you.
Your Father sounded like an amazing guy and I can not imagine what you are going through.
Your Father will always watch over you and you can always talk to him.
Put your faith in God and find your strength in the hope of others.
If ever you need to talk about anything – I am here.
In Thoughts,
Ami xo
I’m so sorry you are going through such a sad time right now…I know you will miss your father terribly, he sounds like a wonderful man…and he raised a wonderful daughter! A big XO…
Dear Emily – I’m sorry for the sadness you have and your loss. Your Dad was obviously a wonderful Dad to raise such a loving and caring person as he did with you. Grieving is a one step at a time process and some days you fall. I wish for joy and happiness to fill you up again soon and as a parent of six that is certainly what I would want for my children and am sure your Dad would want that for you also.
I lost my dad 16 days before my 24th birthday. It was the most painful and life-altering moment of my life. Here I am, five and a half years later, and I am planning my wedding without him in it. But I know that he would be proud of everything that I have accomplished. I tell you this not to increase your saddness, but to let you know that you will find that different kind of happy. It really does happen. And I honestly do feel like he is still with me and smiling down at me. I pray for comfort for you. Know that time does help, it never completely heals, but it does help. Feel free to message me if you need to talk.
Casie,
I don’t know where to begin other than to say I’ve been there. My dad was “everyone’s favorite” and was the rock in my world. He’s been gone 9 years, almost to the day, and I still ache from the loss.
You will never stop loving or missing him. You will always crave his hugs, his laugh, and the scent of him near you.
…but it does get easier to bear with time.
Lean on your friends and family. Prepare for a moment of a completely unreasonable melt down / freak out (no one prepared me for this!) and let it happen. Members of your support system will understand. They will help you through it. Finally, do something in his memory. Plant a tree or volunteer some time for a cause he loved. You’ll feel just a tiny bit warmer in this cold world.
sending warm thoughts of comfort and support your way,
Lori
I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my Mom at 24 and it felt like the end of the world. It’s been 21 years since I saw her last but I still think of her all the time and wished she was around to see what I turned into. You know what though, I think she is just as I’m sure your Dad will be watching you as you move through life. Like you, I feel so lucky to have had a parent love me that much and it helps me even now.
I’m thinking about you and sending thoughts and prayers your way.
You are an incredibly strong and beautiful person-your dad raised a person who will contribute so much to the world. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Sending up a prayer for you.
I am so sorry for your loss!
You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
*hugs*
praying for you!
Casie, I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts.
I cannot imagine the pain of losing a father. I am so sorry for your loss. Stay strong, know that your father is looking over you. I am sure you will go on to achieve greatness in life and your father will be there every step of the way. Don’t lose hope, this shall pass. You will be happy again.
Casie,
Reading your post brought tears to my eyes. I am so, so deeply sorry for your loss. You are an incredible person, and I’m so sorry this had to happen to you. Your writing is beautiful, truly, and it has opened my eyes to the things I sometimes take for granted. Thank you.
All my love and prayers go with you and your family,
Hannah
Dear Casie,
I am so very sorry about the death of your father. Many hugs to you as you go through this very difficult time. I’m sure he was an amazing man.
Take care, Andrea
I know that nothing I write will lessen the pain you are feeling right now. No phrases, quotes or prayers will make you feel any better. Grieving is such a painful process and I wish there was something I could do to make your burden easier to bear. All I can do is let you know that I’m thinking of you and that your dad must have been the proudest man on earth to have such a wonderful daughter. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.
That time is a great healer is probably the last thing you want to hear now, but it’s probably the thing you’re hearing most often. And it’s not true. Time won’t heal your pain, but it’ll make it lessen.
In time, you’ll realise that you can be OK again, it’s just going to be a while.
You have to surround yourself with the people you love and who love you, and remind yourself that while smiles and laughter aren’t what you think you need, they are.
You need to remember the good times and the happy times – as cliched and awful as that sounds. It’s a cliche because it’s true. And another cliche (just as true) is that your dad would want you to be happy.
So be happy. It’ll take time, but you’ll get there.
Love xxxx
Your father sounds like a wonderful man, someone I wish I’d known. I’m very sorry for your loss. Always remember to stay hopeful, even though things seem bleak right now. Given some time, you’ll be happy again. And even if your recreated happy isn’t the same as what you have before, it’s still happy and it’s just as powerful.
Love and wishes,
Wynn
My most amazing mom died 10 years ago, and I understand that hole in your heart. I’m so sorry for your loss, but glad for you that you had such a wonderful, loving person in your life. I think he’s still with you, watching, helping and being proud. It does get better with time, but for now, take extra good care of yourself and your wounded heart. I hope it helps to know so many people are sending you loving, healing thoughts.
Shedding tears for your loss, and everyone’s similar losses here. You are all in my thoughts. Your strength is astounding, and a beacon for us all. Much love.
You certainly were blessed with a very special father! I know what that is like and how lonely it feels when you lose them. For me it has been over 2 years and I still miss spending time with my father. Hold on to the fact that you were a cherished part of his life. Look everyday for the joys in life, look for your father in you, and like he taught you don’t waste your energy-use it honor yourself and him!
Love and hugs,
Michele
I know this must be a terribly difficult time you’re going through, but it’s so uplifting to see such an optimistic attitude and a willing spirit. That’s the kind of daughter any father would be proud of. I hope you continue to stay strong and inspired to get the most out of life. It’s a shame that we don’t realize how much we have to lose until life’s experiences bring it out of us. But the one thing we can do, is pass that knowledge and the love like your father showed you, onto others. And you’re already taking a step in the right direction. :)
God bless.
RJ
I hope the posts on here have helped to refill some of your cup “drop by drop”. Though I never knew your dad, I can only imagine how proud he would be of your post above. Not only is it well-written, full of emotion, and honest; it is also beautiful. While the love and comfort of a father can never be replaced, never forget the love and comfort you can find in others.
Hi Casie,
I am so, so sorry for your loss. Your Dad sounds like he was an amazing man, and an awesome father. I believe that, even though you can’t see him, he will always be by your side. And he will always be in your heart.
I can’t imagine what you must be going through, but please know that we are all thinking of you and your family, and sending love your way.
xoxo
*Hugs*
Casie,
Though you are going through an immense amount of pain and sadness, to know that you are part of such an incredible human being is one of those blessings/curses. To have shared the time that you did, experience and learn what you could from him is a blessing and will forever be burning within you and sent out to all you meet. I am so sorry for your loss. Head into the healing process knowing that with everything you do, he will always be proud of you, always be looking out for you and will always love you from this life to the next. Keeping you in my warmest of thoughts while you get through this period.
Casie, I am so sorry for your loss. I know that there is no “right” thing to say right now. I lost my dad, my foundation, my go-to person, when I was in college. It was like having the rug pulled out from under me. But, he made me strong. And it sounds like your dad made you strong. I just want to tell you that I understand. Reading this post brought back so much… Thank you for being brave enough to write about it.
Much love to you.
I know there isn’t much people can say to make you feel better, as you’re the only one who knows what your loss feels like, but please know that things will get better, and that will be fine. After gloomy days, you will go back to life, and you will live happy and proud in his loving
memory. Much love to you from Mexico meanwhile, and the very best wishes.
casie-
you are in my thoughts and prayers. drop by drop, your glass will fill again. your dad will always be in everything you do, everything you are, who you are. you’re being watched over, and while you might feel worn down and broken now, know that your dad would have taught you how to learn and to grow from it, and he still will. you are never alone. as long as he is in your heart, you’ll remember the lessons and love he taught you.
keep your head held high, pretty girl. you’ll make it through.
all my love.
Cassie,
I send my love and support from New Zealand. Please know that it does get better and little by little happiness finds its way back into your life.
I lost a close family member and although it is difficult it gets better.
Much Love,
Ngaio May x
I lost my father last April, so I empathize with you!!!! I remember singing the old song: “Why does the sun go on shining, why does the sea rush to shore, don’t they know it’s the end of the world cuz you’re not here with me anymore”…words changed to reflect the loss of a Dad. Sending thoughts and hugs and comfort from my heart to yours.
Casie,
I lost my dad when I was only 30. I was Daddy’s little girl and to this day, almost twenty years later, I still miss him! He isn’t gone though Casie. He lives in your heart and your special memories. I hope the memories of your dad will bring you some comfort. Take care.
Happy memories after the tears.
Sending a prayer of peace. Ann
When I saw your post, I felt like I should write you something to make you feel better, to tell you that it gets better. I sat here for a minute, though, not knowing what to say because I’m in a bad place myself right now. I was wondering how you offer words of encouragement when you feel like you don’t have any left.
And then I thought, maybe that’s the most important time and the most important way to offer encouragement anyway. You reach in and find whatever love is left inside you, and dredge it up, and try to share it with someone else who is feeling the same way.
So the good news is: that love and happiness and joy is still there, deep inside you. And there are people out there who have hit bottom too, and they know how you feel, and you’re not alone. We’re all sharing the little bit of love we have left…and I’m told that love shared is love doubled.
And it sounds like, too, you can thank you father for this: the nugget of future happiness and the love that’s still inside you at your core. He’s with you, and you will be happy again, because that’s the legacy he’s left with you: how to love, to share that with others.
You’re in my heart.
Dear Casie,
I hope that you are able to find that happiness soon. Your father sounded like a wonderful person and I am sure that he loved you very much and would want you to be as happy as possible without him. The wisdom of a father really is indispensable and that which you’ll live with for the rest of your life.
Although I can’t say I know what it feels like, since no one ever knows exactly what your pain feels like, I sympathize and urge you to take a step forward, to move on down the road. You might be leaving him behind, but he’s still with you deep inside.
Your strength is amazing; keep it up. I hope that all the love we’re leaving is doing you good, and I hope for the best.
Best wishes,
Connie
Thinking of you… praying… hoping…
Dear Casie -
I’m sorry for your loss. I wish I could send hugs across the internet to comfort you, even though we are strangers. You have amazing strength, to be able to look into the future to days when you can reclaim happiness. I hope it finds you in due time. Until then, I’ll say a prayer for you and your father.
Love,
Kit
Dear Casie,
Your words and journey have touched me. We have something in common, my wonderful dad calls me “Kid” too. I can’t imagine your loss but I send you love and light all the same. You sound like a strong woman and I hope that you keep that strength.
Know that there are people out here sending you positivity and healing vibes.
Love to you,
C.S.
I’m so sorry to read of your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts.
Laura.
Cassie,
I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now losing your dad. Just know that you’re loved by so many. Praying for you.
Casie,
You are such a strong, brave woman. You are an example to others. I can’t say I know exactly how you feel, but I know you’ll get better and you will be the woman your dad will be proud of. My prayers will be with you and your family.
Love and hugs,
Carol
I am so sorry to hear of your loss – I can’t imagine what it must feel like. I am so glad that you had such a wonderful father.
I am sending you so many hugs, and so many thoughts, and so much prayer. I know that he was already so proud of you, and I hope that you continue to grow into that woman he knew you would become.
Sending much love,
Laura <3
Hi Casie,
I’m so sorry for your loss. You were blessed with a wonderful father, and though your time together was cut short, it sounds like it was filled with love and special moments. So many children go through life without knowing the love of a father like that. Your dad and his love will be with you always. The world needs more fathers like yours.
Wishing you and your family peace and strength for the journey ahead. May your life honor your dad and may you always feel comforted by his love. God Bless
Heidi x
Casie,
I am so sorry for your loss. I am praying for your peace and comfort.
Casie,
I am so sorry for your loss. You dad sounds like he was a wonderful man, and that you were a true friend and blessing in his life. However, although not you cannot see him, know that he is always around and will still be helping to guide, love and support you as you move forward on your magical journey through life.
Chrissie
I can’t imagine what you are going through right now, but what I can imagine is the love your father had for you and vice versa. What a gift he gave you through your relationship with him and his impact on who you are. Hold tight to that and even though he is physically not here he will be holding you up through this time of transition. You’ll find your happiness again and it will be even brighter because of his love and influence.
Casie –
What does one say at time like this? I too am extremely close to my father. He is my best friend in the world. I can only imagine what it would be like to lose him. God bless you and give you peace and comfort and understanding in this. You have people praying and caring for you. I hope you can rely on this in these times. I hope you can smile and find joy eventually and all the things you will do in this life that display your dad’s direct imprint on you. What a blessing it will be to others and hopefully you as well to see him live on in such ways through his precious daughter whom he loved so much.
Peace like a river, Casie…and God bless you.
- Jonathan
Have you ever put together a really difficult puzzle? One with way too many pieces and colors that blend together in tricky patterns? I figure that’s kinda what you’re doing right now. Your life was just thrown into the air and all the puzzle pieces came unglued. It’s going to be a bit difficult finding your corner pieces and and putting the edges together. But then, slowly, things will start to fall back into place. And although you’ll have times where you want to throw the whole darn thing against a wall and give up… you won’t. You will complete that puzzle some day. And although it may not be the same image as it once was – it will still be an image that you’re proud to look at. So, stay strong – I think you’re already stronger than you realize. And remember that you have strangers and friends out here, praying for you, thinking of you, and nudging the next puzzle pieces in your direction!
Recreating happy!!! Simply stated, profoundly wise. Casie, I am truly saddened by your loss. Your father sounds like an amazing man and the best part is that you realized it all along. Too often people don’t know how good they have it until they lose someone. Cherish your memories, keep writing to share your stories and your dad will live forever, not only in your heart, but in the hearts of so many who didn’t even have the honor to know him. Your words are profound and I found comfort in them to be able to pass on some of your father’s wisdom to my own sons who are experiencing the loss of their father due to mental illness and alcoholism. Thank you and God bless you always. Believe in angels and your dad is with you right now!!
I am so, so sorry for your loss. Your post is beautiful, and I admire the way you manage to keep the hope, regardless of everything that has happened. You are an amazing person, and I am certain you will, and do, make your father proud every single day. Lots of love.
I am so sorry for your loss, Casie. Please know that every time you inhale, exhale and inhale again, your father will always be with you. May you have strength during these difficult times.
Lori
Take your time to grieve. Let your Dad’s memory fill your heart and when you least expect it, you will feel him with you. Keep the faith. My prayers go out to you…
Casie,
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad 25 years ago and I still miss him. He will always be a part of your life. You will always remember the things that he taught you and things he said. He will live on in your memories. May God bless you and comfort you during this time. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Deborah
“I will be a person he will be proud of.”
You already are, my dear. Speaking as a dad, and seeing what you’ve written here, I can tell you that he’s so, so proud of you right now. You’re gonna inspire the world, Casie.
“Dad, you made the world better” is so beautiful and i will remember it always. I am so sorry for your loss and i understand your feelings that nothing will ever be the same again. yet i admire your courage in your goals to create a new and positive reality and yes your Dad would be so proud to have raised such a strong and beautiful daughter. I am thinking of you. With much love, Celia xxx
Sending you lots of hugs and support in your time of grief. Please know that you are very loved!
Sara
Casie,
I can’t imagine losing a parent-I have not had to face that situation, so I am not sure how I would handle it, but I want you to know that I think you are dealing with your loss in a very healthy and necessary way. Remembering the good times that you and you dad had together and being open about your feelings of sadness is, in my opinion, a great start to feeling happy again. From what I have seen in your post, you and your dad were very close, and I know that he is so proud of you, just as you are proud of him.
God is with you and your family during this time, and He is with your dad as well. Take care, and know that there are strangers in the world who are praying for you.
Love from Virginia Beach,
Caroline
You’re beautiful. Don’t you forget it. Hold onto life, keep your head high, and just remember, he’s happy. <3
Dear Casie,
I am so sorry for your loss. From your post the love that you and your Dad shared shines through. I know he would be proud of such a beautiful daughter. I can’t imagine the pain you are in but please know that so many people love, care and are thinking of you. You will be in my thoughts Casie.
Angie xxx
I’m so sorry for your loss. *hugs*
Sending lots of love and hope your way. Here’s to a day filled with good memories of your Dad, someone you will always be able to celebrate.
Much peace, Lisa
Casie;
You share my daughter’s name. My heart aches to hear of your loss. Sending much love and positive energy your way. You will be in my thoughts.
Casie, It’s been almost 16 years since I too lost my father. You are right the okay that you are when you still have a parent there to say it to you is different then the okay you are on your way to finding and becoming. Just remember, you will always be your fathers daughter. You are a part of him just as he will always be a part of you. The one thing that can survive even death is the love between a parent and child. My thoughts and Prayers are with you.
Dear Casie,
My heart breaks for you. Your father sounded like a wonderful man. I can’t imagine how difficult this time must be for you. I love your attitude of making your father proud and working to recreate happy. I just want you to know that I care. You’re in my thoughts and prayers.
Lots of love and ((((hugs)))),
Deb
Dear Casie…seeing the photo of you on your blog, I immediately can see that you too would light up the room, just like your beloved Dad. Grieve, mourn your loss, treasure every moment you shared with your father and eventually the time will come when thoughts of him make you smile rather than cry. Love and strength to you at this difficult time…x
I am a father of two daughters not much younger than you. Looking at them after having read your blog brought me to my knees. I can only hope they speak of me with one tenth the love and honour you show your father.
Having lost a parent myself, I can only offer the following: don’t let anyone tell you how to feel or how long to grieve. It is up to you. Honour your dad and take the time you need. The hole you feel now is never gone, but you do learn how to breath again.
Sending love and peace your way.
Although you feel like your chair’s been kicked out from under you, believe me when I say, it will get better. You’ll never stop missing your Dad, but the pain will mellow and the good memories will outshadow the bad. Take care, take your time, and breathe.
Casie,
Sending you hugs and prayers.
Casie,
I just wanted to say that I’m deeply sorry for your loss. I know how much my father means to me and I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now, but I do know you will be stronger for having gone through it on the other side. I hope that the universe delivers all that you need to get through this time and for you to know how thoroughly, how completely you are loved.
Casie,
You seem like a brilliant and beautiful woman. I am so sorry for your loss, but I also don’t know how bad it actually is. In elementary school one of my friends passed away because of cancer and that can still seem like a raw scar at times, so take your time. Remember your father at all times, honor him. I send all my hope and love to you.
I’m overwhelmed by the kindness in each of these comments. A heartfelt thank you to all of you. I was sobbing while reading your words – in a good way.
Much love.
dear Cassie,
first I’m so sorry that your Dad has passed, and for the pain you are experiencing. You are so wise, trusting that you will experience happiness again. If there is one thing I know to be true, “everything changes”…and that means even though for a time we experience sadness and loss…we grieve…there is space (like that little hole in your heart) to experience joy too. We can feel many emotions within the space of moments if we open live wholeheartedly, and I’m guessing that you do and that is why this hurts so much. Sending you a cyber hug. Your Dad is definitely smiling at you from deep inside your heart!
Hi Casie,
I’m here because of a link from lovebomb. I stumbled upon it today, so I’m not sure I get it, but I do get grief.
Everyone grieves differently but there are phases of grief that are common: shock, denial, anger, sadness, bargaining, acceptance.
I found when I lost my father last year that these phases came and went, that even before he died I was grieving him. But after he died, the amplitude of them went way up. Much more intense.
My experience is that these things fade. And the phases jump around in and out of order — anger may follow acceptance and shock may lead to sadness — which leads to … The other thing to keep in mind is these feelings are all temporary. They pass like clouds pass. Invest no more of your identity with what you’re feeling than the color of the clouds in the sky. Don’t believe everything you think. Memory has a kind way of failing that emphasizes the good, and lets the bad fall away.
Something that has kept my Mom sane through this is thinking of what my Dad would have wanted. To keep his spirit alive in his intent, to hold his guidance close even if his corporeal body is not.
I propose to you that you are not your body; you are a living spirit inside it. Your father is also a spirit that lived inside a body. Our spirits are eternal, birth and death are illusions — holy gateways into the physical world, and more like a game of hide and seek than creation and destruction. Find your inner spirit and ask for your father’s guidance, his love. I think you’ll find it as present as you need him to be.
I hope this helps you. My favorite book on coping with death is called “No Death, No Fear” by Thich Nhat Hanh. If you’ll create a wishlist on amazon and email me the link I’ll buy you a copy.
namaste,
SteveA in Texas
Hi Cassie,
Your Dad sounds amazing, what a blessing for you to have had him in your life for the time you did. Cherish those memories, those times and most importantly the lessons he taught you. Live your best life in honor of him, he would not want anything less from you and your brother. I hope you find peace. Take care.
Casie,
I know it’s been said before, but I’m so sorry for your loss. From the bottom of my heart, I feel for you. Despite this more than difficult time you are going through, I can still sense the strength through your words. You are such a wonderful, loving person. You will make it through this by taking every little part of your dad with you. Take care, I’m rooting for you.
Casie,
I am so so so so very sorry to hear of your loss. This world is so broken… and although we can live life with the most positive of outlooks, this earthly place still is gonna suck.
But the best part … God is faithful to His promises. He will take care of you, hold you, and guide you every step of the way from now until years down the road. Lean on Him and those around you that he has blessed you with!
Praying for you! – Libby Barker, Nashville TN
Casie,
You have way with words that is truly beautiful, inspiring, and touching. Reading your most recent post created a very real and honest moment for me. The lessons you have learned from your father are so visible in the way you describe yourself, happiness, creating, recreating. I think a lot of us take our time of life for granted, and I can only thank you for the courage it took for you to share your thoughts, your words of wisdom, you hurt, your pain, your love… because in those words you have inspired this girl from Montana to… create, love, laugh… I am so very sorry for your loss. Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you, as is my every laugh, smile, and moment of joy.
Deepest love and inspiration,
Lauren Ashby
This makes me so sad. My dad is starting to get older and feel his age and it’s forced me to think about when he’ll be gone. I’m pretty sure my world will crumble.
Know that you are not alone. I don’t know of any one thing to say that can really make you feel better but you are in my prayers. Thank God for the many years you did get to spend with such a wonderful dad. You are so fortunate.
Hugs and much love to you.
It is so hard to lose someone that you have loved and looked up to and be inspired by for so long. But, I always tell myself that this means they will always be there and around me in spirit; which means I can take them with me everywhere I go. It’s a memory in my mind or a charm on my necklace that reminds me of how amazing they have always been to me.
I hope too, that somehow, some day, I can do the same for someone else knowing that the person that inspired me is watching and helping me out when it’s my turn to be that amazing someone for somebody else. Stay strong.
Casie,
I hope you’ve found your different version of happy. I know that your dad is very proud of you. Stay strong.
I’ve just come across your blog today and wanted to tell you that I am sorry for your loss. I pray that you are healing, and that you will continue to live life with even more vigor and love than before. Convert the sadness into positive energy and continue to make your Dad proud of you :)
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