Category Archives: Motivation

Happy New Me.

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I’m not particularly fond of New Year’s resolutions or celebrations because I feel like it perpetuates a mindset that it’s only once a year that we allow ourselves to reflect, forgive, and plan. To perpetuate this mindset deprives every other day of its potential for renewal. The notion of every day as a new beginning is not something that our culture makes easy to practice. We have jobs to do because we have bills to pay, along with other daily commitments that occupy our mind space. When we’re just trying to keep up, how can we be expected to gather the good sense to stop, reflect, and adjust or change our course? Ah, yes. That is why we celebrate New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. We need it to force ourselves to reflect on the past year and decide how exactly we’d like to spend the next.

I have a mind that does not settle and an unsatisfiable urge to feel productive at all times. This mental liveliness and ambition is beneficial most of the time (I get a lot done), but it can also be a bit maddening. A few days ago a friend introduced me to yoga, and I’ve practiced it every day since. Yoga allows me to tame my thoughts and focus, if only for an hour. For someone who’s never been able to do that, it’s like finding a spring in the middle of a desert. I’ve never known until now what it’s like to feel at ease, at peace.

Yoga, like writing, is something that I do for myself (though I do write with a reader in mind to ensure there’s something to gain from reading it). And yoga, like writing, renews my sense of purpose. Without purpose, we wander aimlessly through life. I don’t want to wander, I want to create, experience, and accomplish. I want to be good to myself, and I’m going to be, for possibly the first time in my life.

Happy New Me.

casie

The Happiness of Pursuit

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I recently had the pleasure of listening to Jane McGonigal give a keynote speech about the science and psychology of gaming. She has proved through research that games can make us happier and healthier. Gaming, after all, is simply a way of approaching problems.

One insight in particular that she shared resonated so strongly with me that I wanted to raise my arms into the air (an act she says we can do to gain physical resilience) and shout, “YES! That’s IT!” That insight was:

It’s not the pursuit of happiness, but the happiness of pursuit that makes us happy.

Think about it for just a minute, and then continue reading.

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{Flickr user photo credit: vermilionaire}

I regard my years as an undergrad student at the U of M as the happiest years of my life. No, I wasn’t partying every night and sleeping until noon every day. I didn’t even live on campus and I worked two or three jobs at a time for far more than 40 hours per week. All that work and I was the happiest I can remember being. And it’s because I was working toward something—a degree that held the satisfaction of accomplishment and the promise of doing something big with my life.

I was happy simply to be pursuing.

Since graduating, several life events and circumstances have contributed to my lack of fervor. My dad had a heartbreaking struggle with cancer that ultimately took his life. My younger brother and I became closer than ever, then more distant than ever. I’ve worked hard—too hard, sacrificing too much at times—at jobs that have introduced me to some of the greatest people and friends I’ve met and that have also taught me countless lessons.

THE PROBLEM 
Together, these experiences have made me realize that to enjoy life, you have to feel fulfilled at the end of each day. So I started pursuing fulfillment. I know that to feel good about myself and my life, I need to write, I need to laugh, I need new experiences, and I need to have impassioned, thought-provoking conversations with other people. I believe that stirring ideas and the right conversations and actions can change people and people can create change in the world.

THE SOLUTION
My approach to becoming fulfilled is to challenge myself to:

  • Travel to new places locally and internationally to expose myself to more global history, to new cultures, to new people, and to have fun (of course).
  • Complete a Master of Fine Arts in creative writing and become a working writer and college professor.
  • Spend as much time as possible with people who make me better and happier.

THE ACTIONS 
Since recognizing all of this fewer than six months ago:

  • I’ve been accepted into a fantastic MFA in creative writing program at Hamline.
  • I’ve started making travel plans that will happen.
  • I’ve spent more time with the people most important to me.
  • I’m applying to another amazing MFA program at the U of M that would allow (and require) me to teach as part of the program.

I still need to:

  • Budget for travel and create a travel plan.
  • Rearrange my life to accommodate grad school so I can do my best work.
  • Figure out financial aid all over again!

THE OUTCOME 
I’ll find out, I suppose.

See, it’s a game I’ve created for myself. And now that I’m focused again on pursuing, I’m becoming happier and more energized than ever. I have to make some big changes, but it’ll be worth it in the end.

Happy pursuing,

Casie

Pursue Great Moments

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I’ve not published anything on here in three months. For good reason, though. I was busy working on a freelance article that I’m thrilled to pitch. Like most of us, I’ve also been trying to enjoy as much of the summertime outdoors as I can. Oh, and I was planning a wedding and getting married. A bit of a big deal since, you know, if done right you only get to do it once.

If you know me or have spoken to me about my wedding in the past six months, you know that I tend to shy away from the subject. Not because I didn’t want it to happen. I just don’t particularly like attention being directed at me. I’m not a look-at-my-ring-and-be-happy-for-me kind of girl. As most everyone knows or can assume, with all the thinking and heart that went into the day, it lasted for just that long and I felt at the end of it that it wasn’t long enough. It wasn’t that the day “flew by” as everyone warned me. I actually thought time went by slowly or, well, at a speed slow enough to enjoy small moments.

I also kept replaying in my mind the small moments* in the days following the wedding and still. And photos from the lovely Megan Daas Photography will only bring about more memories. I was literally intoxicated by happiness. Having had only three Fulton Blonde Ales the whole day, I know it was emotionally induced. My cheeks hurt from smiling. All my favorite people in the world were there to celebrate happiness. Not my happiness. Not our happiness. Just happiness in general. It showed in each smile, each laugh, and each tight I’m-never-letting-you-go hug.

This contagious euphoria lasts for just the one day. It lingers afterward, but you can’t quite experience it the same way again. I miss it and hunger for it like an addict. It’s left me craving more soul-stirring occasions to look forward to and revel in. I want to lead an exciting and fulfilling life. We all do. And I’m almost certain I’ve found a way. You have to pursue great moments that remind you why you exist–to feel joy and bring joy to other people. To create happy, damn it.

I know what makes me happy. Writing. Venturing to new places. Enjoying time with good people. Reading. Learning. Playing games (I’ll always be a kid). Making people laugh. Feeling proud of myself. On and on…

Here are just a few things I’ll be doing in the coming weeks and months to create great moments for myself.

  • I’m beginning a new position as a digital strategist that I’m excited about and grateful for. I’m looking forward to thinking in new ways and having new responsibilities.
  • I’m applying to graduate school in pursuit of an MFA in Writing. I have only 29 days to start and finish all the application materials.
  • I love golf (and my dad loved golf and bought me a set of clubs before he passed) and I want to become a better player.
  • I love photography and will be learning how to better use my DSLR camera and get new lenses.
  • I’m pitching an article to a magazine I love.
  • I’m submitting creative writing pieces to a few blogs I love.
  • I’m going to write a travel article and a wedding article and find the best pubs to pitch.
  • I’m going to write every day. Every. Day. Today is the first day of August. I’m going to write (I mean write, write–not emails and tweets) every day of this month, hopefully inspiring some quality material for my grad school application.

Here’s to more and more happy things to come.

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{please note this photo is not from photographer mentioned above; hers are much better!}

*Moments like calling my MOH the night before after getting nervous for the first time, everyone telling me it was raining as we were getting our hair done and trying to hide my uneasiness about it, doing my makeup in the vanity sink then helping the girls with theirs, seeing the look on his face the first time he saw me in my dress, my little brother putting a bracelet engraved with a saying my dad used to use on my wrist before walking me down the path to the lakeside garden pagoda, the three kind people who happily and quickly moved their cars parked in front of a mural in Minneapolis we stopped to take photos in front of, the wedding party all sipping a pitcher of water through tiny stirring straws when we got to the reception because I mandated they hydrate, dancing to DMB “You and Me” and laughing during our first dance, my MOH’s speech, my brother’s speech, people telling me the day was so very simple and “me” and that I looked like “me”–not overly done up, and dancing like fools with my favorites.

Why write

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Writing means creating something bigger than yourself. Something that has the potential to touch people. Maybe for a moment. Or, just maybe, for longer.

I write because I have too many thoughts to be contained. It would be negligent not to let them out. Give them a chance to grow into a few sentences that might someday become full paragraphs, or even pages.

Writing is about understanding people and finding meaningful ways to connect with them. It’s about uncovering a relatable story, then bringing that story to life in a way that it hasn’t been before.

I’ve been a hobby writer since childhood, really. But it wasn’t until the last few years that I’ve spent time trying to cultivate my writing skills. The secret to improving your writing is to read all kinds of things, search for inspiration, and write as often as possible. I’ve taken a few classes at The Loft Literary Center, which have given me a better understanding of the structure and components of different types of writing, and opened my eyes to just how many talented people there are in the Minneapolis literary community.

“Either write things worth reading or do things worth writing.”

Benjamin Franklin

I intend to do both. But intentions mean nothing. Only actions count. Aside from classes, my first small action was submitting a piece to a writing contest last month. The MinnPost contest called for a 100-word short story. I thought, Sure, why not?

And guess what? My entry was selected for third place. Although a small feat, it was somewhat validating, especially considering the other winners have had multiple pieces published. Maybe this is the beginning of more good things to come, I thought.

Here’s the announcement and my short story…

{images credit: MinnPost.com}

How to kick ass all day.

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You might not know this, but your job…well, it isn’t your job. It comes with a description that lists your responsibilities and certain tasks that you do on a regular basis, but those duties are not your job. Nope. Your job is to become indispensible to the organization that employs you by contributing skills and expertise so valuable that it can’t function as well (or at all) without you. To knock the freaking socks off of the team you’re part of and make their jobs easier. In fact, if you’re really, really good – I’m talking valuable-beyond-measure good – your colleagues should never have to ask you for anything, because you will have already thought of it or taken care of it.

When you start a new job, especially in a very competitive specialized industry, there’s this phrase that people always use to motivate you. They say you should be the first person to arrive and the last one to leave. And for the time you’re there, they tell you to kick ass all day long. But the problem with this is that you’re not sure what exactly kicking ass entails. If your roles have been rather black and white, with positions like sales associate at the hipster-est hipster clothing shop, server at the neighborhood café, or warehouse stocking specialist, you’re probably unsure of what to do in the gray area that comes with embarking on your first “real” job. And why wouldn’t you be? Particularly if you have little to no college experience.

Regardless, they throw you in, and it’s sink or swim. These people and the organization they represent have invested in you. You! Of all the people in the world. They. Picked. You. So you better give them a hell of a return on their investment. You need to prove to them and to yourself that you’re worth it. You have to give it your all. That means working beyond scheduled hours, asking the right questions, building strong relationships, being an incessant learner, understanding how your success will be measured, then surpassing expectations and demonstrating passion along the way.

 

After hours

You’ve been given a schedule and, whether part-time or full-time, you have to dedicate yourself outside of those hours. If you’re in the office a few days a week and the organization, for instance, hosts events on the weekends, volunteer to help out with set-up, execution, and cleanup for those events. If there’s an important meeting happening before typical office hours, ask if you can bring coffee or breakfast and come in early to make sure the space is in top shape. If you’re invited to happy hour after work, by all means, GO! Get to know your colleagues in a more relaxed environment, but be professional – you want your integrity to be intact when you walk into the office the next day. Show your dedication by investing the time you need to.

 

Ask the right questions

Once upon a time when I was an intern, a mentor and friend of mine told me to ask the right questions. I thought, Yeah, okay, great. I just need to ask the right questions. And a few minutes later I thought, How do I KNOW what the right questions are?! What kind of advice is THAT?! Turns out, it’s great advice, and I didn’t realize it until I found myself repeating it. To ask the right questions, you have to start thinking differently. For instance, instead of asking why someone might have given you a chance, ask what you’re going to do to make sure they don’t regret it. Instead of asking what you should do about a problem, come up with a solution and suggest it. But at the very least, just ask questions. You need to understand that no one has all the answers, and no one expects you to either. That’s why it takes multiple people to run a team, a company, or even a country.

 

Relationships are everything

Whether you’re incredibly extroverted or prefer to keep to yourself, you have to create connections with people, both inside and outside your organization. The relationships you make early on in your career are some of the most important because they can lead to many others. The easiest thing to do is to be yourself. People can tell when you’re being genuine and they’ll appreciate it and feel a stronger connection with you. But it’s not all about you. Take interest in other people. Ask about their job and about what they do outside of work. You might just find that you’re surrounded by some of the greatest people you’ll ever meet.

 

You can never learn enough

As I said before, nobody knows everything. And no one ever will. That’s what makes life such an adventure, right? (Just nod along.) Learn as much as you can about the industry you’re in, the organization you’re part of, and about organizations like it, or ones it could aspire to emulate. Look for inspiration everywhere. Read articles, study people and places, go to events, talk to smart people – just get out there and soak it up. Then use all that knowledge to improve the things around you.

 

Understand expectations

The biggest barrier to doing a kick-ass job is not knowing what you’re being measured against. You can’t succeed without knowing what success means to the people who are evaluating you on a daily basis. Every day of any job (and of life, even) is a test. And you don’t just want to pass it, you want to blow the minds of the test makers so hard that they have to rewrite it to make sure those after you perform at as high a caliber as you.

People appreciate honesty and humility. If you’re unsure of how you’re doing, request a review. It will only benefit you to know what you’re doing well and how you can improve. Ask what success measurements you’re being evaluated against. No doubt it will be a matter of solving business problems. If it’s recruiting volunteers, put together a game plan and execute it. If it’s recommending the best audience for a product or service, do primary and secondary research and interpret it into a persona. If it’s developing a creative campaign, make sure you have fantastic insights to inform the creative work – don’t just make cool shit for cool shit’s sake.

 

Wear your passion

Finally, show that you’re passionate about what you’re doing. People don’t want just anybody behind their brand or company. They want a team of passionate, ambitious leaders who’ll be better advocates for the organization than any consumers they could ever hope to buy with a marketing program. Your enthusiasm and curiosity should shine in everything you do. (Unless, of course, what you’re doing doesn’t light you up. In that case, find what does and use this same recipe for success.)

 

That’s how you kick ass all day. The secret is that it’s your own ass. The bottom line is you must do more than the bottom line. Be so remarkable that you make everyone else aspire to your awesomeness. If you can do this, it’s likely that you’ll get a job offer, or at the very least, you’ll get the kind of referral that would make anyone else snatch you up in a heartbeat.

Work every day to be better and make things around you better. If you’ve found what makes you happiest, you’ll know. You’ll feel like a better you with every ounce of effort that you contribute to whatever it is.

Happy creating,

Casie

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 (photo credit: http://frenchbydesign.blogspot.com)

A Learner

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Written for my creative nonfiction class.

A Learner

Walking through a maze of buildings built more than a hundred years before I even came into existence, the sun playing peek-a-boo behind the clouds, I opened the door to the address listed first on the notes I’d printed to help me navigate my way through my new surroundings. Once inside, I discreetly scanned the plaques outside each door in search of the room number I’d memorized so as not to reveal that I didn’t know where I was going. I found the one I’d been silently repeating to myself, as that’s what I do when I want to remember something, and walked in. Triumph one of what was to become years of tests of my abilities. I took a seat in the middle of an assembly of undersized chairs connected to even smaller writing surfaces. Standing at barely 5’1” and a half without heels on – a rare occurrence – the small space wasn’t a problem for me. It served as a reminder that I hadn’t grown up yet, no matter how many hurdles I’d overcome up to this point.

Later I would become a front-row sitter. But not today. On this day I wanted to blend in. Observe my environment to determine how best to act here. As the room reached closer and closer to full capacity, my stomach turned from nervousness. Or maybe from excitement. I’d never thought I would be here. I didn’t know that it was a place I would belong. But as the professor approached the podium and welcomed the class of would-be 2009 University of Minnesota graduates, I just knew. This was for me. I am a learner.

The time between that day and graduation is a period in my life I remember being the happiest. It could have something to do with the fact that shortly after graduation is when my dad got sick. And shortly after that is when I lost him. But also, it’s a time when I remember being so sure that all the possibility in the world lay in front of me. I could do anything. Change everything. Become important.

As far back as I remember my dad always believed I would accomplish great things, as all dads believe of their children. But I took this very seriously. My dad was one of those people-changers. You became a better person for knowing him. I know my brother and I did. With cowboy boots, kind blue eyes, a horseshoe mustache and a contagious laugh, he was a man of small stature, but of huge heart. More than anything, I always wanted to make him proud. And I did.

“This is my daughter, Casie. My college grad.” He’d say as he introduced me to anyone.

I’d smile, knowing that graduating college isn’t an unusual feat, but something that meant to him that he’d raised me right.  “Nice to meet you,” I’d always say, looking over at my dad grinning from ear-to-ear.

“Your dad has told me so much about you over the years. He’s very proud of you.” That’s what they’d all say. His friends and coworkers knew more about me than some of my own, probably.

With a bachelor’s degree on my résumé, it was time to find a profession worthy of that proud smile I’d come to rely on for motivation. As I transitioned into the supposed “real world” that I thought I’d already been part of since I’d worked more than fulltime while in school, I caught myself starting to doubt that I could really do anything or make any real difference. As a student, you have the luxury of looking with hopeful eyes into the future you’re working toward. When studenthood ends you suddenly find that what was once the future is now the present and it’s not what you thought it was going to be. The way I see it, you can either become one of those people who wake up every day wishing they were doing something else – something more – or you can become the person you want to be.

“You have too much good energy, kid, to waste it on things you shouldn’t,” my dad told me as we sat on his patio and I explained through teary eyes my angst about not being where I’d hoped. At that particular time last summer, I didn’t know where I wanted to be or what it was I wanted to do, exactly. But I was very sure that what I was doing was not it.

A year later, I’m not quite there yet. But I think I’ve found a way to get closer. We’re all learning new things every day, but there’s something about being in a classroom that substantiates it. Last Monday, I walked through the door of an unfamiliar building, wandered up a few flights of stairs and down a hallway until I found the room I was supposed to be in, and took a seat in a classroom for the first time in two years. I’m officially a learner again. A learner who wants to become a writer.

Make time

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Being one of the rare days when I wake up and actually crave breakfast, I went to the Good Day Café to take advantage of it. Now, I’ve been to this café in Golden Valley a few times before, but never had I looked around like I did today. I was scouring the joint like an art director selecting a location for a photo shoot. As I took in every detail, from the strawberry seeds in my freshly blended smoothie to the light fixtures made from wire whisks, I realized how precious this place was. Precious and really, really popular.

Sometimes it’s so packed that there’s a line out the door. But it’s one of the few restaurants where the line isn’t an accurate reflection of the wait time. Long wait or short wait, each anxious diner knows it’ll be well worth it once they take their seat.

Each of the tables is rather unique. The table I was seated at today was reminiscent of antique barn oak like it’d been plucked from a farmhouse kitchen far away just for me. The mismatched pairs of chairs around it seemed to have been separated from their four-piece families, abandoned at a nearby thrift store until the cafe took them in. And I can’t forget the straws. Yes, folks, they have straws – bendy straws – in the middle of the table so you don’t have to ask for one. Pure dining bliss. That’s what this was. And I hadn’t even started eating yet.

My powered sugar topped Belgian waffle and personal-sized jar of maple syrup looked like something from the pages of Bon Appétit magazine. The plates came out no more than five minutes after I’d placed the order. The staff is super friendly, and twice as speedy. I was halfway through my waffle, sausage patty and smoothie when it hit me. This was all going by way too fast.

However charming the surroundings and wonderul the food, people are rushed through as if they’re trying to break a record for the number of times a front door can swing open in one day. As I left, I found myself wishing I could stay longer. I’d love to be able to enjoy a few cups of coffee and even read a book. The magic of this place was lost to the limited time granted to appreciate it. Sadly, this is far too often the case with things we enjoy most.

We don’t take enough time to delight in as much as we should because we’re too busy rushing here and there and doing this and that. As I thought about this, I glanced over to a sign near the doorway that read: Make time. What an interesting setting for such a message. I said it to myself over and over again. Make time…make time. We don’t make enough time. Not for ourselves, the people we care most about, the places we love, or the pursuits that make us happiest.

Happy Anniversary, Me.

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Today is the one-year anniversary of my first blog post, wherein I explained my realization that it’s apparently unique to create happiness for yourself and for others. At that time, I knew the coming year would be a hard one, but I hoped to get through it with a smile. Well, turns out it was the most heartrending year of my life. And there were more tears than there were smiles.

That said, I’m determined to cram as much happiness as I can into the coming year and each one thereafter because, well, life is short and the only way to live it properly is to spend each day doing things that make you happy.

So, what makes me happy?

Good people. Don’t be fooled. These are rare. When I say “good,” I mean… always have a smile on their face, give the best hugs, offer advice that shows they really know you, laugh at the same things you do, make you feel better about life… kind of people. Make time for them – they’re the only ones really worth your time.

Ice cream. As a kid, my dad and I would always end the weekend nights with ice cream. Since I’m a big girl now, I’ve been ending every night with ice cream and, damn, is it delicious. Indulge as needed.

Sunshine. Sunny days have a way of washing cares away and I’m pretty sure I’m due for a dousing. Along with warm weather comes warm weather activities like walking, hiking, sunning and biking. All of which I wish I could do year-round. Perhaps a move westward is in order.

Writing. If I could do anything in the world, I would spend each day writing my little heart out. The only way to become a better writer is to…

  1. Write.
  2. Write more.
  3. Write even more.
  4. Write even more than that.
  5. Write when you don’t want to.
  6. Write when you do.
  7. Write when you have something to say.
  8. Write when you don’t.
  9. Write every day.
  10. Keep writing.

(I love this. But I did not come up with it. Read the original post from @copyblogger)

Traveling. This is something I’ve done very little of in life and I plan to change that. As a bit of an edit to my prior statement, if I could do anything in the world, I would travel the world and write about it. And I think I will, thank you very much.

I believe I just made an unintentional to-do list. Looks more inviting than any of the other to-do lists I’ve tackled lately. Guess I’ll spend time doing these things. How about you? What makes you happy?

Happy Anniversary, Me.

Do it for Dad

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Recently, I haven’t been able to wear any true smiles or feel any real happiness. The best I’ve felt since losing my dad was after reading a tribute I’d written for him to all who attended his funeral service. In fact, telling a hundred people about my wonderful father was so fulfilling that I got back up afterward and talked even more about how he showed me how to live and how much I’ll miss him.

I sense that the only way for me to feel good is to continue to do things to honor my dad. The best way I can figure to do so is to think about him every day, take care of my brother like he told me to, and treat life the way my dad always has by approaching everything with a strong will and soft heart.

Dad, I promise to…

Smile and laugh – at myself and with others.

Try to make any day better, for anyone.

Make new things out of nothing.

Take time for myself – maybe in the Boundary Waters.

Make time for people who deserve my time.

Be a best friend.

Take only important things too seriously.

Turn every moment in life into something special.

Be someone people look up to.

Leave happy, handwritten notes.

Say thank you.

Really, truly care.

Inspire my (future) kids.

Love, Kid.

 

If everything I do is for dad, I think I could feel happy again.