The world, it seems, was not made for human beings. Unfortunately, the world as a whole is a bit big to change- at least for one person- but your own life is not.
We’re often told that doing things the hard way is necessary, character developing, that making life easier is for weak people. If you get accustomed to life not being endless toil and hardship, you’ll become soft and useless- oh the horror! This mindset is influenced by capitalism and the idea that humans are only worthy if they can contribute to society and look after themselves. We have glamorised the grind a little too much. Ableism stems in part from this- if someone is disabled and can’t contribute an 8 hour day of work, or cook their own food, people who think that way will get very uncomfortable and start muttering about how disabilities offer inspiration and challenges to overcome. In reality, all humans are worthy of comfort and love simply by virtue of existing- ability to work has no part in it. Still, even if you know and believe that in your heart, it’s difficult to get rid of the mindset that you need to constantly do things- and do them the hard way.
Almost everyone does actually want to work- to help others, to feel useful, to fill in time doing something Good. You might remember, in some school-holidays or other, getting bored despite having so much free time in the sunshine and turning your mind to the creative- building huts in the woods, making paintings, learning new skills, replicating the library of Alexandria in Minecraft. That’s just what humans do if able and left to their own devices. Given that, maybe it isn’t so bad to glamorise the grind and expect people to work all the time? That would maybe be the case- if the world was set up for humans. At the moment, though, the world is set up for fifty-dollar bills and the various ways to use them. The typical workday, along with having to cook and eat and look after a house and leave time to sleep, is barely achievable even for completely healthy neurotypical people in the prime of their life. For a disabled person, someone older, or a neurodivergent person, it becomes nigh-impossible. We’re supposed to work on interesting things, with a community to help, not extremely boring things at a single lonely desk!
As mentioned at the beginning, the world is too big to change, at least for now. But with the knowledge that making life easier does not make you weak or worthless, there are certain things you can do.
Firstly, think about your life. What parts of it make you really tired? What activities do you most dread? What just Does Not Work? Maybe you have to go lie down after doing the dishes because it’s inexplicably exhausting. Maybe you absolutely abhor walking to the supermarket because you have a bad knee and that makes it flare up. Maybe you’ve been meaning to fix your lunchbox because it keeps leaking, but in the meanwhile, you have to put effort into putting it left-side-up in a plastic bag.
Once you have a few of those swirling around in your mind palace- it could be tiny problems or huge life issues- make them more specific. Those exhausting dishes? Maybe it's standing up for half an hour. Maybe the soap gives you a headache. Maybe the sound of clattering cutlery puts you on edge, and maybe it’s all three.
These problems might seem minor- not worth fixing, not a big deal- but your life IS worth living comfortably. Going back to the dishes example, try to think of what would improve your comfort. Not having to stand- not getting a dish-soap-based headache- not hearing the cutlery. From there, solutions might be obvious, like sitting on a tall chair to wash dishes, using a different dish soap, and wearing headphones or earplugs. Sometimes the solution is more trouble than the problem- if you don’t have a tall enough chair, it might be more bothersome to sit than stand. Usually, though, there’ll be something you can do. And remember- if it’s stupid and it works, it’s not stupid.
Another important principle is that if something is worth doing, it’s worth doing badly. If brushing your teeth for two minutes is unbearably overwhelming, try doing it for 30 seconds- that’s still a lot better than zero. If the dishes are a dark stack of doom on your counter, just rinse the cup you want to have tea in. If that physics chapter seems impossible (I feel ya) just write the topic heading and page number in your notebook- it’ll be easier to start later. Life will, sadly, always be a constant stream of things you must do, but you can absolutely make it a cute garden fountain type stream instead of a raging river.
Strangely, sometimes you must Use the Fruits of Capitalism to Overcome the Woes of Capitalism. By this I mean buy stuff, and by stuff I mean things you can afford that will make your life easier. If you have some kind of disability, maybe something to aid you with it- for example if you have trouble walking perhaps you should acquire a cane. If you’re autistic and have sensory problems perhaps a pair of headphones. And note that aids are for everyone- you aren’t appropriating anything if you use some kind of disability aid without a diagnosis. If you didn’t need to use it, it wouldn’t help you. Not everyone is financially able to get these things that could help them, of course, but there are funding agencies, things you can make yourself, items borrowed from friends… and if you are able to but worried you’re not ‘disabled enough’ to deserve help, that is a silly thought your brain is telling you and there’s no such thing.
The point is, life is difficult, but you don’t get any ‘points’ for living it in the most difficult way. Adapt your life to fit you, not the other way around, and try not to feel guilty if you can’t do things. Do things halfway, different, weirdly, but most importantly, do things in a way that makes your life easier. If that means shaving off annoyingly long hair- rock that bald style! If you need to listen to audiobooks to get through dull tasks- blast that crime novel through the kitchen! If people are giving you weird looks, smile creepily with the knowledge that you’re having an easier day than they are. And try to enjoy life as much as you can.