Turning 18??
Have you ever thought about the things you could be doing once you turn 18? Thinking beyond voting and driving, you get excited for the fact that now you can get loose! A night out in town with your besties while possibly finding the love of your life at a party. You’ll feel independent and free with no more child treatment. Until the day hits.
The moment your birthday is over, days pass by with you only waking up to face the same routine over and over again. When my birthday rolled around I was ecstatic. Everyone makes a huge deal over the ‘big one eight,’ you get bigger gifts, a special party, and even the wish to tell everyone in your path “Yeah I’m 18” while proudly showing off your ID. I thought I would feel much more grown up now, have your typical young adult life. But as the weeks went on I realized how I didn’t feel any different from when I was 16 or even 14, besides my emotional maturity. In fact, I thought by the time my birthday rolled around I’d have made so many friends at uni to invite to a giant happy 18 party, only to spend it with my family for lunch, after which they went home to do their usual housework like any regular day (I cried.)
I know a lot of young kids fantasize about what their life would be like at this age, and while some really may live life like TV or books depict, the majority of us are given a slap of reality and sleep deprivation. You don’t feel that different, but you're stuck with responsibility the moment you're no longer legally under parental care. It’s insane that despite the little difference in our lives, we still have to have the rest of it figured out. For those going straight into university, we have to choose a degree that may dictate our entire future. Some have to start worrying about rent for flatting as you may get kicked out or just decide to live on your own. You feel like a teenager but are shoved into adulthood, though you’re still not old enough to make certain choices because you’re too young. How contradictory.
Most wouldn’t think of it as a big deal but for some reason, I was disappointed or maybe just confused. I found it crazy how I feel and even look no different from a few years back. By the time I hit 18 most of my peers have dated, been to college parties and are busy working part-time when not at school. I often found it embarrassing and thinking about it took a stab at my self-esteem for a while. I never had a story to tell when talking about people who’ve asked you out, or guys you regret dating. I have yet to even get to a talking stage and forget holding hands! I know there are definitely people out there in the same boat as me, and that's ok. I feel like it should be more normalized to have never had a romantic experience even at 18, you aren’t even 20 yet, right?
While it sucks to have missed your chance at young ‘teen love,’ it isn’t completely over and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s nothing to do with you. Some of us may not have had time, or maybe have never found someone who has caught our eye. But trust me, it will happen eventually. You may not be everyone's type, but out of millions of people, you will be somebody's muse.
Love aside, let's talk about jobs. The number of times I want to hang out with a friend and they can’t due to part-time work makes me feel down too. At 18 many would have already had a few jobs whilst I’ve had just as many rejections! The pressure to get part-time work in order to pay your light young adult bills is scary. It’s hard to find a job in this economy so being at this age while not having one makes me think I’m falling behind. Others are ranking up their experience and I’m ranking up my procrastinated assignments. Remember, this too is ok. I like to believe that everyone has their own pace, so if you’re unemployed and feel left behind then don’t worry. Use this time to better yourself in other aspects, whether it be hobbies or study and use these to get moving! It’s hard to be 18 without work but as long as you can level up that CV through other opportunities (while some might even lead to that good cash) then I’d say take your time. There’s nothing wrong with living at home to save up too, having to leave home the moment you turn 18 is so Disney-channel-coded. I’m with my parents and I love the free meals.
Some people started their interests at an early age with a few dedicated geniuses becoming good at what they do. I have not one athletic bone in my body. I’m tone-deaf with zero hand coordination. My average grade is the average mark. At 18, most go to university to pursue their interests and become prodigies at what they do; unfortunately, I am not outstanding in any way. Another hit to my self-esteem. However, I’d like you to remember that it's fine to not be some amazing student, athlete or artist. Carrying on with your life and going with the flow is just as cool.
Age is just a number, that saying can apply to everyday life too.
Once you hit 18, I realized life may or may not change in a fairy tale, Disney special, number one selling book kind of way, and that’s fine. My only advice as someone who hit that milestone a few months ago is to keep going…and don’t have expectations. Happy birthday!